Spring is here...(yawn)

Hey. It's been a crazy couple of days. First off, I want to report that I didn't get much done the day after that St. Paddy's Day celebration. My head hurt so bad that I seriously considered changing this blog into a petition for prohibition.

But all is well now, and I'm looking forward to a drink later on. After I put in some time on my script.

Today is the first day of Spring...or tomorrow, or something. It's grey and cold outside. Think I'm going to stay in and chill.

Man I'm tired. Yawn.

The Luck of the Irish

Aww. Man. Don't even want to get outta bed today. Last night started out well. In theory.

Let me set the scene. St. Patrick's Day. Tuesday. East Village. I'm out having a few drinks with my roommate and his date. They're having dinner, I'm next door downing a few pints of Guinness. They join me awhile later.

I'm a little buzzed...nothing serious. They have a few drinks with me. I decide to shift gears and GET THIS PARTY STARTED! ...uhhh. My stomach. OK. So I order a couple of shots. Let's get into the spirit of things, huh people?

Well...not sure of much what followed. Apparently I was running up and down 2nd Ave singing old Irish chanteys and kissing complete strangers. The rest of the night is a blur.

This morning...all I can say is I've had better days.

Oh no. That treatment is due tomorrow! Shit. Oh man...My head.
















P.S. I'm not even going to attempt a rebuttal to one of my readers who suggested I be more "considerate" and walk out of the room before "ripping a smelly one" (in that readers words). Do you think this is something I'm proud of?

But yes. I guess I could be more considerate.

Just Screw It

'sup. Another nice weekend here in the city, pretty mild weather, although nothing like last weekend. I felt like having some noodles, so my roommate, his date and I went over to Sushi Lounge down in the East Village.

I had the egg ramen with some friend dumplings as an appetizer and some spicy tuna rolls (well, in a doggy bag later on). It was pretty good, I must admit.

Apparently, though, later on I had some really bad gas that nearly peeled the paint off my roommate's bedroom walls. That didn't go over too well.

Look. I said I was sorry. What else do you want me to do? Yeah, dirty looks and kicking me out of the room is real tough, big guy (whatever). I didn't really want to hang out while they were in there anyway, watching movies and whatever else they do.

So the other day I was approached by a representative of a certain brand name clothing manufacturer -- sports apparel, to be precise -- who asked if I would become their spokesman.

Now the terms seemed fair, maybe even generous, and I have to admit I considered it. But I came to my senses and declined. I don't pimp out my body to no one. Least of all some big corporation.

I am what I am. I ain't about to become a media whore just 'cause of the markings on my back.

bullshit strips

So I'm doing some online shopping last night. You know, stocking up on snacks for movie night, the odd hockey game, and for the upcoming baseball season. You can usually find some good deals online.

Then I come across this product, which some of you may know. And I have to say...I'm sick to my stomach.

Yep. That's right. Bacon flavored Beggin' Strips.

First of all, the idea of calling a product "Beggin' Strips" is morally reprehensible. Do they have any idea what condoning that kind of mentality does to someone's self esteem?

The problem is dogs don't know any better. They have a weakness for this kind of thing.

So there's that. Then...check out the product description.

• The low fat treat made with real meat that dogs beg for
• Dogs don't know it's not bacon

Excuse me? "Dogs don't know it's not bacon?" So not ONLY is it OK to condone this humiliating master/servant bullshit ideology with the NAME of their "PRODUCT" but they also add insult to injury by WINKING at you while pulling one over on Fido? As in..."Don't worry...Rex doesn't know any better, ha ha. It's leftover horse meat. Wink wink."

So smug in their superiority. It's enough to...alright...let me calm down a minute.

OK. Better now. Let's just conclude by saying I would never, ever, EVER buy this for my dog.

(So as to not invite a lawsuit, I will add this: In the interests of fairness, I will accept coupons or samples of this product so as to give you, the consumer, more informed feedback.)

where is the sunshine?

Looks like this is going to be a grey and blah-ish week, weather wise. But spring is in the air. I can feel it.

Speaking of weather (yeah it ties in, just go with it), I saw "Sunshine Cleaners" last night and it was pretty good. A kind of triumph of the human spirit over dead bodies and stained carpets, etc, kind of thing. Alan Arkin reprised his role from Little Miss Sunshine (well, sort of) and the rest of the cast was good. Two paws up.

So there's a new film coming out called Duplicity, I'm sure you've all seen the ads posted everywhere. As I'm heading home last night I was walking towards the 2 train at 14th street and saw this brilliant mock up.

Gotta love it. Next week, a sneak peek of Miss March. Now that I'm looking forward to.

It's Tuesday...

We had a great weekend, with warm weather teasing us to come out and play. So I did. Took a stroll through Central Park with the roommate and hung out near the lake. Later, I felt like checking out the Museum of Natural History but for some bullshit reason I couldn't get in.

My roommate tied me up (?) and went in. Soon I'm starting to get uncomfortable. A while later yet, I'm about to burst. Finally he came out and stood there gushing about the "Forests of North America" section. That's great, dude, but how about finding me some "Fire hydrants of the Upper West Side"? Any old one will do. I've got the bladder of a woman these days.

The headline in today's Times is "Bernanke Says Finance Rules Need Update". Wow. Breaking news. Thanks, Bernanke. Later they'll update it with something like "Grey Clouds Bring Rain". Damn. Why not throw in "Link Found Between McDonald's, Sagging Butt Cheeks".

In other news, A-Rod underwent successful surgery on his hip. Glad to hear he's OK. Now he's got to rest up for the next 9 weeks, which could affect the first 6 weeks of the season. Good or bad news? You decide.

Later, I'm going to sneak into a sneak preview of "Sunshine Cleaning" with my roommate and his date. Going to make sure I have easy access to the restroom. Those monster diet Cokes make you piss like a race horse.

Reading: Post Office by Bukowski. Listening to: A Love Supreme, Coltrane.

A-Rod and procrastination

Just when I'm starting to look forward to the new baseball season comes news that A-Rod is out of the World Baseball Classic with a hip injury. I don't know if this is good or bad news for the Yankees. Time will tell.

In other news...I've been putting off the re-write of my film treatment. Man, it's hard to concentrate on that thing. Need to rethink my premise. It may be true that writing is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration but right now all I've got is 100% bad gas.

By the way, if my roommate asks where that bag of chips went, no one knows anything, right?